The Battle for the Undercat survival

2012-02-03T07:26:00.005-08:00

Sometimes, friends just don't understand. But they do ease the hurt a little.

Like morphine. Friends are morphine. Addictive, destructive, but pain relieving.

Depending on which aspect of reality is your pain, or your friends in.

2012-02-03T07:26:00.003-08:00

2012-01-29T02:07:00.000-08:00

Spectacles by the Sunset,
Poem by Fabian Ng

Spectacles by the sunset,
Would you look at me again
The last time I left you here
You were shivering in the rain.

Spectacles by the sunset,
My eyes lost the will to see
Am I getting blinded visions;
These tales of you and me?

Spectacles by the sunset,
We were watching coastal shores,
Shouldn't have thrown you down,
Now I can't see at all.

Spectacles by the sunset,
Are these objects really real?
Is love and hurt a package,
Sealed with a kiss for a deal?

Spectacles by the sunset,
I long to be free,
Flying by my visions,
Chasing dreams for me.

Spectacles by the sunset,
Are you really a perfect being,
Are you the vengeance out to haunt me,
The revenge of my dreams.

Spectacles by the sunset,
Do these shoes fit me at all
Am I walking by myself,
Is this the stroll before the fall?

Spectacles by the sunset,
What can I ever achieve?
You'd be my best companion,
As long as I am nothing.

2012-01-22T07:31:00.000-08:00

I haven't blogged in a long, long time. Ever since this gloryhole of mine was snatched by google.

But this is a hideout that I realise I can retreat in. Where there is a small window to a world I call home. Where no one reads these cluttered posts.

People love; people break up, but I'm numb. Numbness means you're spared the pain, and you miss the joy. It doesn't exactly hurt because you can't seem to feel a thing. You have to hear their stories of getting glorified and blissfully locked-out happy, because they're desensitized to the sufferings of others in their own fairytale.

I hate this world, but I don't have access to bombs. That, is a very sad thing. I can't blow the humanity that I'm growing to hate into smithereens.

And for those that hurt, they once loved. I'm way past that stage. That only incident remains but a failure in my heart, telling me that I shouldn't stumble into another pithole again, as must as I want to fall aimlessly in love.

It's stupid; that thing called love. But somehow, it might be awesome to stop thinking for a moment and let your thoughts drift elsewhere.

You can grow for all I care, humans. I degenerate. Just make sure I do not degenerate to the point of vengeance against you all.

Fuck mortality. It's weak. I'm ashamed to be human. I'm ashamed.

2011-03-20T20:24:00.000-07:00

5 Minutes of Work
Album: Sanity and the Shit Factory
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

This sky is grey,
A darkness contradicting Monday blues,
It's still the same,
There's that pile of shit just waiting for you.

You bang, you squeeze,
Inside you go down on your skin tight jeans.
Everyone screams,
You can't hear them, it's somewhere deep within.

In that five minutes of our working time,
Every soul screams, they needa' get a life.
Though it's enough, five minutes seems deprived.
Somehow you find, that this week has just gone by.

Maniacs scream.
Just chasin' their own American Dream,
Or so it seems.

They're just dying,
This city just imprisons them for life.
But what is life?
You look around, there's nothing you enjoy.

Except five minutes of our working time,
Every soul screams, they needa' get a life.
Though it's enough, five minutes seems deprived.
Somehow you find, that this week has just gone by.
That this week has just gone by.

Bridge:
Gone by, I don't think so.
It's a cycle that we all kno',
Saturdays are misery days,
You just booze your hell away.
And Sundays, sundays are just hangover,
Then your week just starts right over,
So believe me when I say,
That yo' week is just a shame, but...

Just that five minutes of our working time,
Every soul screams, they needa' get a life.
Though it's enough, five minutes seems deprived.
Somehow you find, that this week has just gone by.
That this week has just gone by.

2011-03-08T00:49:00.000-08:00

It's the time of your life,
You're finally talking tonight.
And it's not screams that pierce
The ambience of your fucked up life.

It's the day of your dreams,
The day when reality's not shit
What you imagined came true
And it's not nightmares tonight.

Calm yourself, you ran this race,
Got through all the shit,
The fucks and the hate.
Calm yourself, you're outta rage,
You're gonna crumble now;
Stop before it's way too late.

It's the dawn of the day,
Another moment in hate age.
Numb to the disparity,
Of spoken words and vulgarities.

It's the dusk of your dream,
The ending's near, or so it seemed.
You half wish for life to end
And implode from just within.

Calm yourself, you ran this race,
Got through all the shit,
The fucks and the hate.
Calm yourself, you're outta rage,
You're gonna crumble now;
Stop before it's way too late.

2011-02-24T09:57:00.001-08:00

lol

2011-01-12T05:38:00.000-08:00

I have no home. I have no fun. I have no life.

2011-01-04T08:07:00.000-08:00

Thunderbolt
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

Black skies, roaring minds,
You're that Pikachu that shocked me
Till my mind went blind,
Lost my judgement, lost my foothold,
Lost in you and I,
Not to forget what was mentioned back the other time.

Cause they said, 'Danger, stay away'.
'Take up every precaution for a future heartbreak.'
Yet I find myself repeating on the same mistake,
You're my Thunderbolt; my heart's zapped to ashes again.

Hello, you said goodbye,
Didn't even bat an eyelid
On what's left behind.
You're disaster, you're soul sister,
You're my dynamite.
Not to mention what went 'boom boom' back the other time..

Cause they said, 'Danger, stay away'.
'Take up every precaution for a future heartbreak.'
Yet I find myself repeating on the same mistake,
You're my Thunderbolt; my heart's zapped to ashes again.

Bridge
You are a bolt out of the blue sky,
I cry, why do you always blow my mind.
You know, there's a comfort I can trust and find.
In you, I hope I won't be denied.

Cause they said, 'Danger, stay away'.
'Take up every precaution for a future heartbreak.'
Yet I find myself repeating on the same mistake,
You're my Thunderbolt; my heart's zapped to ashes again.

2010-12-31T06:05:00.000-08:00

Brand New Way of Life
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

Resolutions, they're ringing in my head.
Telling me what I'm about to make is simply insane.
Finish college, get to university,
It's a mundane life way ahead, and no one's to blame.

Pre-chorus:
This cycle's repeating itself and I can't change a thing.
So we might as well just party this entire night away,

Lose ourselves, say goodnight,
Because tomorrow's a new year;
An entire brand new way of life.
Love ourselves, stand and fight,
Because when darkness turns to light
We find ourselves, in a brand new way of life.

Complications, decisions I've to take
Moving left or light on crossroads gives me headaches.
Serve the army, it's filial piety,
This shit has reached expiry date, and no one's to blame.

Pre-chorus:
This cycle's repeating itself and I can't change a thing.
So we might as well just party this entire night away,

Lose ourselves, say goodnight,
Because tomorrow's a new year;
An entire brand new way of life.
Love ourselves, stand and fight,
Because when darkness turns to light
We find ourselves, in a brand new way of life.
Yeah, a brand new way of life.

2010-12-21T06:59:00.000-08:00

I'll love you more than a song,
One that I cannot sing out,
Because the lines within is
Choked on selfish pride.
I'll write you more than a song,
One that I cannot sing out,
Because the lines that don't rhyme,
Stumble me tonight.

It's no rhyme or reason,
One that we can't comprehend.
Now if we just stop and listen,
The thoughts of our hearts unprepared.

Because this promise is the last of my heart,
And I'll hope you'll understand

I'll love you more than a song,
One that I cannot sing out,
Because the lines within is
Choked on selfish pride.
I'll write you more than a song,
One that I cannot sing out,
Because the lines that don't rhyme,
Stumble me tonight.

If loving you was simple.
Then dreams wouldn't come to stand,
Now wish you'd just stop and listen,
The beats of my heart to the end.

Because this promise is the last of my heart,
And I'll hope you'll understand

I'll love you more than a song,
One that I cannot sing out,
Because the lines within is
Choked on selfish pride.
I'll write you more than a song,
One that I cannot sing out,
Because the lines that don't rhyme,
Stumble me tonight.

2010-12-08T19:18:00.000-08:00

The posts are counting.
The friends are dwindling.
It's a long time since I've typed like this.
And no, this ain't a song.

This may look like one,
But looks are deceiving.
Do you get the irony
Of unsung, unrelated words?

But alas, I'm lonely, I admit.
Along with a million other earthlings.
Can we for once stop dwelling on world peace,
And live on mutual understanding?

The show of strength is temporary.
Humans do die out.
And my wish for this christmas,
Is for snow to arrive.

Wash me in snow, wash me white,
Because this is an era where
Indians are not the only things black.
Our hearts have changed too.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special.

But I have no one special.
Damn.

2010-11-29T07:41:00.000-08:00

Unrepentant
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

I've misused your inspiration
I have put you to shame.
Now I stand with heads held high,
My soul is down, nothing to my name

I've tried these misadventures,
I'm tired of these games.
Now I'm pleading on Your doorstep,
Except it's just confined to my head.

If pride costed a million,
I'll be a billionaire and more.
But reality's not fantasy,
Cast down, I hear Your call.

But I'm still unrepentant,
I'm afraid of the shame.
I dread to be called a loser,
With nothing to my name
But You call me back home,
You call out my name.
Yet still I'm unrepentant,
I'm sorry, but forgiveness' gonna wait.

I've known much bliss and happiness,
But that was once before.
Now You open up heaven's door,
I hesitate, I still can't step in.

You try to assure me of,
What lies beyond the gate.
I shouldn't just trust my eyesight
I quit playing this game of charades

If pride costed a million,
I'll be a billionaire and more.
But reality's not fantasy,
Cast down, I hear Your call.

But I'm still unrepentant,
I'm afraid of the shame.
I dread to be called a loser,
With nothing to my name
But You call me back home,
You call out my name.
Yet still I'm unrepentant,
I'm sorry, but forgiveness' gonna wait.

And you know how much it costed,
With all the other things.
But this sacrifice of yours for me,
made me touched again.

But I'm still unrepentant,
I'm afraid of the shame.
I dread to be called a loser,
With nothing to my name
But You call me back home,
You call out my name.
It's hard to remain unrepentant,
But maybe, maybe forgiveness' on my name..

2010-11-23T19:12:00.000-08:00

Juliet and I
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

The magic has left her, or so it seemed.
The beauty of life caused her to bleed.
The storm that once reigned has met defeat
The suns on horizon is incomplete.

To get shot by Cupid and struck again,
The hangman of life beckons her in.
It's wasn't a tragedy or suicide,
Just a sweet fairy tale of Juliet and I.

And you could've said she was a child,
That no one's to blame cause heartaches take a while
Before you shout out, 'Time heals all things'
Remember that lifeless head in the sink.

To get shot by Cupid and struck again,
Misery of life beckons her in.
It's wasn't a tragedy or suicide,
Just a sweet fairy tale of Juliet and I.

It's poison to start with,
A tale that ain't supposed to exist
It's poison to end it,
A life that ain't gonna be trapped in bliss.

To get shot by Cupid and struck again,
Not gonna repeat that sweet mistake
It's wasn't a tragedy or suicide,
Just a sweet fairy tale of Juliet and I.

2010-11-18T01:48:00.000-08:00

Make a Fart (Break your heart parody)
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

It may be crack-sound dirty (oh oh oh)
It ain't gonna be smelly, (oh oh oh)
I'm just a fartin' nigger (oh oh oh)
And I just won this wager (oh oh oh)

Cause you've bet with me,
One more piece of cheese,
Still you don't believe,
That I fart twenty farts,
(That I fart twenty farts,)

I'm only gonna make make, oh make make, a fart,
I'm only gonna make make, oh make make, a fart,
I'm only gonna make make, oh make make, a fart,
I'm only gonna make make, oh make make, a fart,

Wooo-oah, Wooo-oah.

It's coming from my ass crack (oh oh oh)
Each time it makes me feel scared (oh oh oh)
And I can't help but do it (oh oh oh)
It's loud, it smells in public (oh oh oh)

Yet you've bet with me,
One more piece of cheese,
Still I don't believe,
That I fart twenty farts,
(That I fart twenty farts,)

I'm only gonna make make, oh make make, a fart,
I'm only gonna make make, oh make make, a fart,
I'm only gonna make make, oh make make, a fart,
I'm only gonna make make, oh make make, a fart,

Wooo-oah, Wooo-oah, Wooo-oah, Wooo-oah.

Eh, and for each explode I'm driving near right to my goal,
Eh, it's one fart down and still I have nineteen more feats to go,
If you bet with me, I guess I'll just be a retard
Of twenty wholesome farts.

I'm only gonna make make, oh make make, a fart,
I'm only gonna make make, oh make make, a fart,
I'm only gonna make make, oh make make, a fart,
I'm only gonna make make, oh make make, a fart,

Starfall

2010-11-15T03:05:00.000-08:00

Starfall
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

This repetition of rhymes make me sick,
Another silent wall I try to break.
No one with eyes closed sees me shake,
Not even if its just way too late.

It's a curse that becomes the social norm,
Another silent dread splashed on the floor,
And now with my eyes closed on the door,
Ignorance to the hearts washed up ashore.

It's death, when the Grim Reaper strikes,
And the dust is still alight.
It's death, when the good people fall,
And you realise they're not so innocent at all.

It's a melody sung of twisted fate,
When love and guilt intertwines as hate,
Cause a million eyes say its too late,
For the redeemed to come back down instead,

The resurrection becomes your beck and call,
Forsake thy redemption, you've wasted all,
But the Father's eyes says he took the fall,
Now here's one last chance before the starfall.

It's death, when the starlights dim bright.
And the dust is still alive.
It's death, when the good people fall,
And you realise they're not so innocent at all.

2010-10-23T10:02:00.000-07:00

Felina
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

Hey little girl, your sweet sixteen has passed,
They smile, they say true love's never lust,
You don't know who you can trust.

Hey little girl, your smile's keeping' you in sane,
With tears flowin' down your wounded pane,
But I know you're still the same.

Even if I go,
Somewhere where you can't find me
And you bury yourself in the cold,
With that pile of sand to snow,
But ever I will know, Felina,
But ever I will know.

Hey little girl, is 'Attention' what I can be,
Cause I know then you'll be cravin' for me,
Locked in a world that sets you free.

Hey little girl, the roads ran seem to tire,
When your sweat's through flame and fire,
Just a little rest and you'll be stronger.

Even if I go,
Somewhere where you can't find me
And you bury yourself in the cold,
With that pile of sand to snow,
But ever I will know, Felina,
But Ever I will know.

Even if I go
Somewhere where you can't find me
When the sunlight melts the hole,
When we're set free as foretold,
Forever I will know, Felina,
Forever I will know.

2010-10-18T17:46:00.001-07:00

I'm way too tired of my own disguise,
It seems right to them no matter how I try.

2010-10-17T08:23:00.000-07:00

Defiance
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

I'm sick of hearing these songs,
The melodies drown out my last voice.
Now I'm creating my own,
From the bottom of 'my life speaks'.

There's this piece that I've been waiting,
Wanting to shout it, knowing that it will drown.
In the sea of the other Me's and
Midgets seeking glory that can't be found.

Pre-chorus
Cause this song is a defiance,
And that's all that matters.
It's hard to convince the world, blind
That this planet is lighted.

But we don't give up,
True love's not a spark,
It's a fire that burns; it is light for all.
Till the blind can see, till the weak believe,
Till this power is strong,
I'll never give it pause.

And now I'm writing this peace,
Passing by from man to mankind.
It's hard to stifle the hate,
When things heal by time, not will.

Cause this song is a defiance,
To all that it matters.
Just start to convince the world, blind
That this planet is lighted.

And don't you give up,
True love's not a spark,
It's a fire that burns; it is light for all.
Till the blind can see, till the weak believe,
Till this power is strong,
I'll never give it pause.

Write it off, that sweet romance,
It's an outlier far from where we began,
Sing this song, carry on,
Give it all that you've got.

And don't you give up,
True love's not a spark,
It's a fire that burns; it is light for all.
Till our eyes can see, till our hearts believe,
Till this power is strong,
I'll never give it pause.

2010-10-13T07:28:00.001-07:00

Technically, I won't mind.
Even if it means changing the baby's diapers all da' time,
Cleanin' the baby's shit when he poops on the floor,
Whippin' up dishes to a kitchen smokin'
Pacify the love when ma' screams cos baby's cryin'.
And you know yo', if things get tough, why bother?
She's got qualifications, she's rich, get another
Maid to the house chores,
NJoyin' all da' house pours,
Cos the chick's fcukin' loaded,
All yo' have to do is play her game,
It's the same thing,
Goin' by the same name,
Tho it's kinda' gettin lame'
Washin' all the fcukin' chores down the drain,
Then it's thrash point,
"Yo' cannot be my boy.
If yo' don't be ma' toy
Get real, get down, around my finga's your coiled"
Then in the midst of drownin'
Caged bird in the golden shinin'
Friends say what a nice life yo' livin,
But they dunch know what they sayin'
Cos your life's just simply fcukin'
Sick, tho's a Ferrari yo drivin'
Can't make up for the hearts that bleedin'
You're her chauffeur twenty four sevin'

And yes, she's a hot chick,
Yes, she can turn and flick,
Yes, she's faithful and nice,
Loyal to you 'stead of the other guys

But that's why, she's way too nice,
You can't find a way to throw the dice,
To gamble love would be a mistake,
All yo' need is one circumstance to show the hate,

And yo', poor soul in disdain,
Ironic happiness plasters yo' pain,
And yo' friends say your lucky a shame,
Da' gossip wheezin' behind da name'

And yo' realise, it's all in vain,
When you tell her yo' suffocate,
She cries, she screams, she's turned to bitch,
From heaven to hell yo', good luck yo' ditched.

No second chance, no turnin' point,
No more pint of beers to chase the other toys'
Now yo' hunger is da' searing pain,
And yo' wishes ye washing clothes all over again.
Washing clothes over again.
Washin' clothes over again.

2010-10-09T09:19:00.001-07:00

Gotta love, before it's late
Gotta make this anonymity into something I can take.
Gotta advance, gotta fight,
Knowing that it'll all just end in a last goodnight,
When Cupid plunges in the shade
At the tip of love's blade.

2010-10-07T02:58:00.000-07:00

Ice Cream Romance
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

Oh there goes my sweet peppermint,
Tell me why art thou jealousy's shine bright green?
The chocolate chip o' kisses that you gave,
Ain't enough to mask this perfect irony.

I know it is a simple pleasure,
Can't find the reason why you've gone so cold
Melting in the heat of kisses,
And it's back to square one just like before
Even before I realise it,
You're gone, like this ice cream romance.

Oh there goes my strawberry kiss,
I can't believe that it was yesterday's bright pink,
Love was the last thing that I tasted,
Hangover's left me in a wanting agony

I guess it was a simple pleasure,
Can't find the reason why you've gone so cold
Melting in the heat of kisses,
And it's back to square one just like before
Even before I realise it,
You're gone, like this ice cream romance.

Bridge
Oh melt in my mouth,
This taste in my tongue,
The aftermath of promised sugar highs
But this sugar fantasy
Is as fake as it can be
The aftermath of melted colours,
It's a simple pleasure, crooked pleasure

I know it is a simple pleasure,
Yet I can't find the reason, why you've gone so cold
Melting in the heat of kisses,
And it's back to square one just like before
Even before I realise it,
You're gone, like this ice cream romance.

2010-10-06T08:16:00.000-07:00

A fairy planted his wish on a tree,
Insignificant, but at least not for me.
Now that your wish have sprouted wings,
It's finally back at me.

I once told my heart that I will give it to you,
It sighed, said me and you weren't meant to be true,
Now that I see truth that sprouted wings,
It's finally back at me.

Like a half written song,
This is my torch for you
Decorated with my tears,
As your laughter drowns.

2010-10-04T01:13:00.000-07:00

The Mugger Song
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

Information overload in your head
"Another day has gone to waste"
And as the phrase becomes torment,
You press on without the end...
Without the end.

Inspiration's getting you nowhere,
"Another hour gone to waste"
And as the time comes to exam
It comes near to the end
Near to the end.

*Get the drums!*
Oh, and I see it
Numbers and letters
Pound this silent head.
*Get the drums!*
Oh, and I feel it
Sweet memories of
Caffeine induced dreams.
*Jerkin' my memory!*

Isolation's a big mistake,
"Another buddy's gone to play"
And as the time comes for the test,
Sleeping wakes to the justice of no end,
Justice with no end.

*Get the drums!*
Oh, and I see it
Numbers and letters
Pound this silent head.
*Get the drums!*
Oh, and I feel it
Sweet memories of
Caffeine induced dreams.
*Jerkin' my memory!*

2010-10-02T09:34:00.000-07:00

Holiday
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

Hear the sound of the raven's song,
Chilling out a morning dawn that's sick,
Wakin' up a city fast asleep

Slumber lies in no man's land
Chained to the thoughts that we try to keep
Away, from the tasks of pain and shame

I guess it's now or never, time for me to sleep,
Not just a rest for the better of our lives.
I guess it's now or never, it's slumber or suicide,
Not hidin' from the pain that plagues our lives.

It's a city fast asleep
Wakin' up sick to a morning dawn
Chillin' to the sound of a raven's song

From the tasks of pain and shame,
Away from the thoughts we try to keep
Chained to a slumber in no man's land

I guess it's now or never, time for me to bleep,
Not just a robot for the better of your lives.
I guess it's now or never, it's time to make things right,
Not hidin' from the pain that plagues our lives.

The Kanina Song!

2010-09-27T20:49:00.000-07:00

The Kanina Song!
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

"Knn when you're happy
And knn when you're sad,
Cause knn is very good,
When you're very bad.
Knn's the right word,
When knn's insane,
And knn the daylights
Out of knn this land

Knn to kaopei,
Knn to say,
Knn to initiate, retreat
After your GODLIKE streak
KNN with double kills
All the way to rampage,
KNN's the thing to say
When Sentinel's on Ownage.

And knn with ultis,
Like sanity's Eclipse.
Cause when you see 900!
You'll KNN "oh shit!"
And when my panda splits
It's knn like this,
You can't run but you can't fight
Cause cyclone makes you deepshit.

And now when I play Tinker,
They say "knn why this"
I say cause laser-rocket,
Will knn tio hit,
And knn there's rearm,
You knn can (perma)hex,
You just need a guinsoo
To make them knn chick

And you know that knn
They say cannot anyhow say
Esp to your elders, teachers,
Uncles and zhangbei,
But you say I heck knn care
DotA's just what I say
And knn those social norms
They cannot play my way"

2010-09-27T07:56:00.000-07:00

The sun goes down,
This day is over,
Another lie that didn't
Choose now over never,

And I repeat the same mistakes
Falling in love with someone I hate.

2010-09-13T06:40:00.000-07:00

Never Felt So Right
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

I stare at this empty screen
Inside of me
Start to wonder what’s gone so wrong.

The dreaded illusions
This wrong fusion,
Before I realized it, you were gone.

And I still can’t bring myself to hide,
The emotions stain me white inside,
I never seemed so wrong,
I never felt so right.
So I still can’t bring myself to hide,
When all’s revealed tonight,
It never seemed so wrong,
It never felt so right.

So here I am on this one way street,
Writing this song,
Hearing the things that once clouded my mind

You let me go when I clung on,
But the joke’s gone,
Because in that heart I’ll never belong

When I still can’t bring myself to right,
The memories scream me from inside,
I never seemed so wrong,
I never felt so right.
When I still can’t bring the truth to light,
When all’s revealed tonight,
It never seemed so wrong,
It never felt so right.
Never felt so right,

Bridge:
So here’s a new storm,
In a black hole with you on top,
Pick up the pieces,
Toss it in and cross it all.

Now I still can’t bring myself tonight,
The moonlight doesn’t seem so bright,
I never seemed so wrong,
I never felt so right.
If I still can’t bring my feet to flight,
When all’s revealed tonight,
I’ll never sing this song,
I’ll never come to light.
Never felt so right,
Never felt so right.

2010-09-12T04:58:00.000-07:00

Nothing's secret anymore.
I shudder, at the thought of facing it all.

I dreamed of this. The images flood my mind.

Like the Druid of the Claw, I have lost myself to my animal aspect.
Except that I'm ain't a bear; I'm a lycanthrope.

Hunted by my own people, with whatever inner demons you have being cast off as gnats.

Just when I clung to and cried in the arms of humanity, it pushed me away again.

2010-09-11T10:28:00.001-07:00

I love you, but if this means getting you hurt, I'd rather drop everything and start hating you.

2010-09-10T07:44:00.000-07:00

I don't know what to write tonight
This negativity inspires me to write
The positivity, superficial comes to light

And they say, life's a screwed up game
Each man got his own portion of heartbreaks,
With the unrepentant sayin' that he's changed.

I'm dry.
I'm really dry,

Torn out from my roller coaster ride,
I find myself with nothing to hide.

I'm dry,
I'm really dry

And it's as though as nothing's changed,
In front of your face, I've put myself to shame.

Yeah... yeah...

2010-09-09T23:30:00.000-07:00

Cupid Died Last Night
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

I remember
The arrow whizzing my way
Struck me in the heart,
It's a feeling I can't say

This feathered flight
I thought that it would be right
Temporary bliss
It's melting away

Pre-chorus
There's this song that I can't sing
Cause the melodies ain't okay.

Chorus
Two eyes, staring at my sights.
The warmth of your touches
Suddenly don't seem right
I guess that it's the end of the game,
Those things you promised
Won't last through the flight,
Because Cupid died last night.

Rewind the song
Play it like the day before
Cause there's this feelin
That it ain't no more.

The chorus has
Been written, sang and done,
Just give up the song,
Or you can carry on.

Pre-chorus
There's this song that I can't sing
Cause the melodies ain't okay.

Two eyes, staring at my sights.
The warmth of your touches
Suddenly don't seem right
I guess that it's the end of the game,
Those things you promised
Won't last through the flight,
Because Cupid died last night.

*There is no bridge, because I can't think of one*

Two eyes, staring at my sights.
The warmth of your touches
Suddenly don't seem right
I guess it's time to dig a grave,
Those things you promised
Shattered through the flight,
Because Cupid died last night.

(And I'll dig him a grave tonight)

Because Cupid died last night.

2010-09-09T07:57:00.000-07:00

The Face Behind the Name
by Fabian Ng

It's time you told us so,
Why can't you just let him go?
That something I don't know.

This time's different but same,
The face you tried just fades away,
And no, nothing has changed.

But I drowned myself in hurt
To tell myself that
I'm gonna let you go,
But reality ain't so.

Cause the story never rhymes,
When the princess is alive,
And the duke's away,
No one to play her game.

But the pauper's in dismay,
Cause reality's that way.
He ain't royalty,
Nor can he be the same,
Of that face behind the name

Summer sets, darkness rises on,
Blights the sky from bright of day,
Fading purple to the night that comes its way

I know that it's a shame.
Nocturnal bliss is my pain,
And I cannot carry on drenched in shame

Cause the story never rhymes,
When the princess is alive,
And the duke's away,
No one to play her game.
But the pauper's in dismay,
Cause reality's that way.
He ain't royalty,
Nor can he be the same,
As that face behind the name

Dream on, that's life
Shatters dreams from cloud nine,
As you slowly fade away.
These times have changed
As you grow, as you age,
Pain a smile and fade away,
(A smile and fade away)

Cause the story never rhymes,
When the princess is alive,
And the duke's away,
No one to play her game.

But the pauper's in dismay,
Cause reality's that way.
He ain't royalty,
Nor can he be the same,
As that face behind the name

Cause the story never ends,
When the princess here tonight,
The duke's here to stay,
Here to play her game.

But the pauper ain't dismayed,
Cause reality's that way.
He ain't royalty,
Nor can he be the same,
Replace the face behind that name.

As the face behind that name.

2010-09-06T20:08:00.000-07:00

Fireworks Ignite
Lyrics by Fabian Ng
Song/Music by Felicia Chen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IK0Ss07g04

The summer break's over,
I guess it's (way) too late.
Now we're done and over,
No, it ain't taste the same.

The spark you placed right in my heart,
Was just fireworks,
Sacrificed its warmth for light,
And now it's all in smoke

Chorus
Cause the story never ends,
Until the prince is gone,
But through it all
You know, I can't carry on.
And though life tastes the same,
I missed the times of rain,
Getting drenched right through my skin
Fireworks ignite,
But the spark is gone tonight.

A new lease of life now,
Feels empty without you,
I know I shouldn't be dragging,
But the pains cause me to bleed.

And right here in soul hunger,
My feelings undenied,
Still I hope for an ending,
The princess with her knight.

Chorus
Cause the story never ends,
Until the prince is gone,
But through it all
You know, I can't carry on.
And though life tastes the same,
I missed the times of rain,
Getting drenched right through my skin
Fireworks ignite,
But the spark is gone tonight.

Bridge:
Fill the sky,
The colours through my eyes.
Touch the night,
With sparks flying through my mind.
Through my mind..

Chorus
Cause the story never ends,
Until the prince is gone,
But through it all
You know, I can't carry on.
And though life tastes the same,
I missed the times of rain,
Getting drenched right through my skin
Fireworks ignite,
But the spark is gone tonight.

2010-09-05T08:15:00.000-07:00

Play it My Way
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

The moon's shining bright tonight,
Along with a million others staring into space
Wandering their lives away.
As I rant on that nothing's been changed

The music's in my eardrums,
Playing on repeat.
I'm not admittin' defeat,
Gotta stand my own two feet,

And I say,
Play, play, play away,
This song's all yours;
The melody's here to stay,
Go, write another day.
They can
Stay, stay, stay away,
My life's all yours,
These words cannot be changed,
Write me another day.
I'll play it my own way.

Another smile turning right tonight
Release of circumstance pent up during the day,
I'll walk my own way.
Tread my own path through the fire and the flames

The music's in my eardrums,
Playing on repeat.
I'm not admittin' defeat,
Gotta stand my own two feet,

And I say,
Play, play, play away,
This song's all yours;
The melody's here to stay,
Go, write another day.
They can
Stay, stay, stay away,
My life's all yours,
These words cannot be changed,
Write me another day.
I'll play it my own way.

Just a kiss and I'll be gone.
You and I, our lives' a song.
Like I'm all words and you're the melody.
Listen here, listen strong,
This symphony must go on
Just a kiss and I'll be gone.

And I say,
Play, play, play away,
This song's all yours;
The melody's here to stay,
Go, write another day.
They can
Stay, stay, stay away,
My life's all yours,
These words cannot be changed,
Write me another day.
I'll play it my own way.

2010-08-11T21:08:00.000-07:00

Then you for that hidden signal, nonetheless.
Now I know to let you go.

2010-08-09T00:56:00.000-07:00

It just wasn't the day.
Drunkenness without alcohol; I ruined what was supposed to be something to be looked forward to.
The mental restraint, the supposed challenge.

Then I had to walk down memory lane. Instead of the bus, I just had to agree/suggest.
The memories came back. Memories that stung.

I fought back my tears. They said big boys shouldn't cry.
I cried inside.

Apparently, the mood wasn't there. I just torn away the last few pages from my book of life.
Hi- five.

2010-08-08T09:25:00.001-07:00

The art of silent smile
A magic to defile,
The anticipated handshake,
Laughter like the eyes of a child

But what could seem so innocent,
Perhaps we're caught in the present moment.
Even so as dreams devour,
We must still go through.

2010-08-01T07:40:00.000-07:00

Inception
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

The summer shore,
The autumn falls,
The seasons we were meant to see
For us all,

When it broke us all,
I left the call,
Hanging on the line,
Taking on another chance

To get by,
The summer hugs and winter fire,
Lost in my mind,
I need to find it back to where
I left all behind,
The picture fades to a black that's
Filling my mind
It ain't the same.
You and I

Now the springs leaves
Fill the snow perched trees,
And you've become
A memory tonight,

The moon pales in
It's summer light.
I realise that I'm alone
In the dream of my night

To get by,
The summer hugs and winter fire,
Lost in my mind,
I need to find it back to where
I left all behind,
The picture fades to a black that's
Filling my mind
It ain't the same.
You and I

Bridge:
Jokes aside,
I can't reside,
In this memory that's trapping my mind,
It ain't the same,
I'm lost again
Put down the thought, I cannot deny

To get by,
The summer hugs and winter fire,
Lost in my mind,
I need to find it back to where
I left all behind,
The picture fades to a black that's
Filling my mind
It ain't the same.
You and I

2010-07-21T03:49:00.000-07:00

Tombolo
Lyrics by Marcus/Fabian Ng

When I was young, I saw this island across the sea
I wondered if it's possible to get there.
Imagine, the life I would live there, right across the sea
An island right in the middle of two conflicting lands.

I've dreamt that the entire reformed land
Is a challenge to the current of the waves
Just to be connected to the island of our dreams.
It was but a fantasy; now it's alive in my mind.

And so..

When I was young, I saw this island across the sea
I wondered if it's possible to get there.
Imagine, the life I would live there, right across the sea
An island right in the middle of two conflicting lands.

Bridge:
I feel that this dream is made up, cause it doesn't exist
Need to face up to the facts of my mind
A feat of nature from the echoes of the waves, calm and cool.

When I was young, I saw this island across the sea
I wondered if it's possible to get there.
Imagine, the life I would live there, right across the sea
An island right in the middle of two conflicting lands.

Now I'm not young, I'll swim to this island across the sea
I know that it is possible to get there.
Imagine, the life I would live there, right across the sea
An island right in the middle of two conflicting lands.

I've know that the entire reformed land
Is a challenge to the current of the waves

2010-07-12T01:59:00.000-07:00

Life.
The symbol of existence itself.
The paradise of hope, the evils of mankind.

I view the hope of the nations as squabble. Peace for all is superficial, when mankind's selfish ambitions consume them all beneath the veil of their deceit.

The paradise is broken.
The waters of life gush out from the fountain of morals we once held dear. We let loose the foundations of this guardian of life, taking the little scrapings of sand each time we need to cover up our wounds and bruises.

We forsake nature's way of release; we turned against the very mechanisms that contribute to the meaning of life. Where did our tears go? Why does mankind harden his heart and practice the ability of holding back what we should let flow?

Fertilisation has been reduced to a cheap trick of passion; one that you take away from and never give back. It has deviated far from it's origins, becoming parasitic in nature when it used to be mutual.

Life. Humans desecrated it in the quest for success. It no longer holds any significance amidst the threats of extermination.

I mourn for this generation; they know not of the purpose that sustained our forefathers. Locked up in their sanctuaries of deceit and the occasional orgasmic paradise, they have turned life itself into a sacrilege of nature.

Yet, amidst the darkness of humanity, a candle glows bright. IT represents the one last thing that humans cling on to; perhaps a path to their eventual redemption. We look to it, knowing that it is the only emotional comfort in modern society.

Even stars do burn out and die, as planets crumble from the hypocrites residing within.
But from the ashes a new hope arises. One with a power is so great, it pwns everything against its will. None can stand up against it, as its greatness towers that even of Barrack Obama.

It's name is love, and he's my friend.

2010-07-10T20:29:00.000-07:00

This Dream (Extended)
Lyrics extended by Fabian Ng

Every trainer has a choice
To listen to the voice inside.

I know the battle may be long,
Winners may have come and gone -
I will carry on.

Yeah, this dream will last forever,
This dream will never die,
We will rise to meet the challenge every time.
Yeah, this dream keeps us together,
I know that you and I -
We'll be the best that the world's ever seen,
Because we always will follow this dream!

Every challenge gives a rise
And stronger is the life inside,

And though the battle may be long,
But the victory is never lost
I will carry on

Yeah, this dream will last forever,
This dream will never die,
We will rise to meet the challenge every time.
Yeah, this dream keeps us together,
I know that you and I -
We'll be the best that the world's ever seen,
Because we always will follow this dream!

2010-07-07T00:06:00.000-07:00

Forever
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

It's an unspoken contract,
Signed on the day your eyes and mine met,
But this thing is not broken,
It's just the beginning.

You're the puzzle, and the pieces
Merged on the day your eyes and mine met,
And this hope may be shattered,
But give it all that you get.

Because we might never be the friends
That we're meant to be,
Take the horizon one step higher,
When we write our first new chapter,
Break the bonds, release our souls
And watch it fly free,
When the story's in the hands of you and me,
A new beginning we shall see.

You're the hammer on my head,
Nails on my hands the day our eyes met.
Sing the song of sacrifice,
You can cry, but don't let your tears run dry

Because we might never be the friends
That we're meant to be,
Take the horizon one step higher,
When we write our first new chapter,
Break the bonds, release our souls
And watch it fly free,
When the story's in the hands of you and me,
A new beginning we shall see.

Bridge.
Always and forever,
A fairy tale ending is possible
If we stick with we.

Because we might never be the friends
That we're meant to be,
Take the horizon one step higher,
When we write our first new chapter,
Break the bonds, release our souls
And watch it fly free,
When the story's in the hands of you and me,
A new beginning we shall see.

Because this might never be the end
That we're meant to see,
Take the horizon one step higher,
As we write our last few chapters,
Break the bonds, release our souls
And watch it fly free,
With the story in the hands of you and me,
A new beginning we will see.

2010-07-04T06:02:00.000-07:00

That Little Thing In My Heart
Lyrics by Capt Undercats

I know that life's uncertain,
With your wishes in the way.
Another heart's been broken,
And I guess it'll stay the same.

They say love's just an illusion
You find yourself nodding your head.
Another day's been stolen,
And you cry as you're awake.

Chorus
It's the day, when the angels come
And Cupid shot another little thing in my heart
As you turn my way.
It's the same, I know how dreams work
And I know that you'll eventually fly away
But there's still, that little thing in my heart.

It's more than just the passion
More than the time that heals the pain
Another word has been spoken,
But I know it's time to change

It's the day, when the angels come
And Cupid shot another little thing in my heart
As you turn my way.
It's the same, I know how dreams work
And I know that you'll eventually fly away
But there's still, that little thing in my heart.

Bridge
Forget your dreams with inhibitions
Chase a love without restrictions,
Let the colours fly and paint your love today,

It's the day, as the angels come
When Cupid shot another little thing in my heart
Now you turn my way.
It's the same, I know how dreams work
Even though that you'll eventually fly away
But there's still, that little thing in my heart.

2010-06-24T09:25:00.000-07:00

Pictures paint a silent smile over your grave
The subtle memories we used to share.
The times we talked, the times your presence made my day,
All that I am has gone to waste.

I guess it was a wrong path that I chose
You are the girl that I had to lose.

2010-06-18T01:00:00.000-07:00

Let You Go Free
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

When romance is the foreplay
Of the things that get you through the day
I would like, to wash myself away.

When you curb your inhibitions
Another young slave to your prohibitions,
It is time to trust your intuitions.

Pre chorus
In a way, I would like you more
Than just for a cup of tea,
This life's too short just to be me,
I don't want another fantasy

Cause I would like,
Like to be part of your story.
With just you the princess and me
Hands intertwined to write reality
But please don't shat..
Shatter my side of the story.
I just want a you and me,
But if you insist, I will let you go free.

Satisfy your desire,
Don't break your heart so bad before you retire.
Let's just warm by the fire

In a way, I would like you more
Than just for a cup of tea,
This life's too short just to be me,
I don't want another fantasy

Cause I would like,
Like to be part of your story.
With just you the princess and me
Hands intertwined to write reality
But please don't shat..
Shatter my side of the story.
I just want a you and me,
But if you insist, I will let you go free.

Bridge
Three cheers for me
Love's ain't a game
You play with me.
Let's stay the same
No more nights out,
Out ever again...

In a way, I would like you more
Than just for a cup of tea,
This life's too short just to be me,
I don't want another fantasy

Cause I would like,
Like to be part of your story.
With just you the princess and me
Hands intertwined to write reality
But please don't shat..
Shatter my side of the story.
I just want a you and me,
But if you insist, I will let you go free.

2010-06-15T04:25:00.001-07:00

Wannabe
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

Scribble a smile on my faceless void,
Let me know that I am
Trying just the way you want me to

Get on the ground, get my hopes up high,
Don't let me fall on us
Crying like the way you want me to.

Pre-chorus
And it's just the hopes I'm holding inside,
Might be gone tonight.
Baby give me one last fight.

My heart beats, beats with insecurities.
Like'd for us to start a journey
I don't wanna be just a wannabe
As my limbs pump with adrenaline
Hold my hands or let me go free
Don't wanna be a wannabe.
I don't wanna be just a wannabe.

Give me the winks that you'd always do
Live love with the wrong clues
Falling for you the way you want me to

Guess it's just the hopes I'm holding inside,
I'll be gone tonight.
Baby give me one last fight.

My heart beats, beats with insecurities.
Like'd for us to start a journey
I don't wanna be just a wannabe
As my limbs pump with adrenaline
Hold my hands or let me go free
Don't wanna be a wannabe.
I don't wanna be just a wannabe.

(Learn to ride)
When you cry yourself an ocean
(Get to soar)
In the dark clouds and stormy seas
(But you fall)
Back to land's sunny island
(On the shore)
Back with you and me, and

My heart beats, beats with insecurities.
Like'd for us to start a journey
I don't wanna be just a wannabe
As my limbs pump with adrenaline
Hold my hands or let me go free
Don't wanna be a wannabe.
I don't wanna be just a wannabe.

Don't wanna be a wannabe.
(Scribble a smile on my faceless void for me)
I don't wanna be just a wannabe.

2010-06-10T04:40:00.000-07:00

It's time for the movies to be shown
The cinema goes black,
I realise I'm alone.

The story's incomplete, I know
I am fading fast,
I just can't watch you go.

And the facts stab back to a heart ice cold
You're in your dreams right now, I will go
But there just one thing I wanted you to know.

When colours fly tonight,
I'm not there by your side,
Been here choking on pride.

2010-06-04T04:07:00.000-07:00

Random Doodles and Me
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

Rockheads and boxheads,
Pictures where I could have been the prince.
Now to you that I'm dead,
Came and gone like the endings of a dream.

If only time could stand still for us.
Under the tree, just you and me
The silence of words follow through the darkness
Of the dusk in our memories

The only thing between you and me
Are fractures of a shattered memory
The times on swings, watching the sun,
Lasted till the day you said you're done.
Now it's just a fantasy,
Random doodles and me.

And the picture has changed
You're just in for the worse.
The smile that once changed sorrow
Has now been plagued with a curse

I knew it was something to do with
The moments of you and me
But is retreating to the past
The only way of setting ourselves free

The only thing between you and me
Are fractures of the shattered memories
The times on swings, watching the sun,
Lasted till the day you said you're done.
Now it's just a fantasy,
Random doodles and me.

Bridge:
You raced, I run
Now I've crossed the finish line for me.
You are the one
And love is the present that I need.

The only thing between you and me
Are fractures of the shattered memories
The flowers you gave, the songs you sang,
Turned out to be just a crying girl's dream
Now it's just a fantasy,
Random doodles and me.

2010-06-03T04:45:00.000-07:00

There's a thousand things upon your mind
If I were to pen them,
It'll be the essay of your life.

It seems the many times you tried,
Times where it's a dead end
The tears never seem to dry

And you cried an ocean you could never swim,
With your hands pierced by many shattered dreams

But tonight
Your dreams will turn into realities,
Hold my hand,
Your prince will come, it's just you and me
I will try
After all that hurt you've been through in this shattered life
Just know that you will come to realize,
I'm your fairy tale in disguise.

2010-06-02T07:17:00.000-07:00

Smiles. They intrigue me.
Humanity is frail. And all they do have is just the curve to get by.
God, you were once my friend, but now, you're in two aspects. I hate you God, I hate you with an intense hate, with fire burning intense from the lake of Lucifer.

You just had to die, you just had to prove your innocence. You just had to drive my accusations into your arms.

Fuck you God, you're innocent, I can't blame you.
And because you're holy, my accusations come to naught. I hate you God.

2010-05-30T09:55:00.000-07:00

Queen of White
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

Misery splashes across your face,
Another hour gone to waste
With the shattered dreams aside,
As my moments come to life.

We all know it's just a game,
But you'll never be the same,
Cause it's there I refuse to fight
She's my queen and I'm her knight.

I'm from the dark side,
And you're from the light,
Only time our paths cross
Is when we're made to fight.
My life is a chess game,
While you're shot to fame
Cause I am the black knight
And you're the queen of white.

And the only times we share,
Are in the box without a care,
You've got your king crowned in glory,
Every swipe of mine in agony.

Cause I'm from the dark side,
And you're from the light,
Only time our paths cross
Is when we're made to fight.
My life is a chess game,
While you're shot to fame
Cause I am the black knight
And you're the queen of white.

Bridge:
And pick up, pick up the fallen pieces,
With the rooks and pawns to care,
Get up, get up from my shattered wishes,
Only hope you'll still be there.

And I'm from the dark side,
You're from the light,
Only time our paths cross
Is when we're made to fight.
My life is a chess game,
While you're shot to fame
Cause I am your black knight
And you are my queen of white.

2010-05-26T06:41:00.000-07:00

Pit Stop
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

Big teddy bears don't say a thing,
The smile on your face is still the same,
But I know inside that your heart breaks.

Unspoken words don't mean a thing
The prettiest face, that's what they say,
But I know inside that your soul's sick

Another day, a glorious way,
Ming blowing tricks just deceive me to stay,
I will ride another wave.
Another day, just so cliche,
But I've made up my mind, I will stay the same
Not too be your pit stop another day.

Hugs and kisses don't show a thing
When your ugly lies are still the same
But I know I am that means to your end.

Another day, a glorious way,
Ming blowing tricks just deceive me to stay,
I will ride another wave.
Another day, just so cliche,
But I've made up my mind, I will stay the same
Not too be your pit stop another day.

Cause I know in that race you play,
I'm just another tyre that you throw away,
Feel the winds, ride the waves,
And come back another day.

Another day, a glorious way,
Ming blowing tricks just deceive me to stay,
I will ride another wave.
Another day, just so cliche,
But I've made up my mind, I will stay the same
Not too be your pit stop another day.
So cliche, not your pit stop another day.

2010-05-25T05:03:00.000-07:00

Little Merman Dude
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

Fish in the sea, there's a multitude,
Eyes gleaming, fins wagging for love.
There's something about this attitude
When push comes to a shove.

Little merman, innocent dude,
Always wandering, seeking his girl
It's something more than just being crude,
Little mermaid, you make my world.

So trials come,
You fell for the man on the shore.
You're never like this before.
And the wind and the waves
Won't blow you back again.
Cause you're never coming back again.

Little mermaid, you've got fortitude,
But the walls of your fragile heart
Wont stand against this solitude.
Little mermaid, it's kinda hard...

When trials come,
You fell for the man on the shore.
You're never like this before.
And the songs of the sea
Will be your memory of pain.
Cause you're never coming back again.

And so long I cry,
Releasing my tears of pain inside,
As a final sacrifice.

Cause trials come
You fell for the man on the shore.
You're never like this before.
And as my tears flows free,
You clinch your victory, me in pain,
Cause you're never coming back again.

2010-05-23T04:55:00.000-07:00

Guardian Angel
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

It's a new night out today,
And I'm alone again,
With the smiles of shattered past,
Crumbling mind in heart to dust.

And I get back on my feet,
To fall another time,
In a world that's full of pain,
You're the halo on my saint.

Cause I will not see you,
But you know that it's true,
When no one is there,
It's then you truly care.
Look up to the sky,
With my feet on the ground I fly,
Because I've got my one desire,
You pick me up when I drop by.

They say you roam the sky,
Seeking one that's in your heart.
That feathered arrow you let fly,
Has struck me in my mind.

Though I may not see you,
But you know that it's true,
When no one is there,
It's then you truly care.
Look up to the sky,
With my feet on the ground I fly,
Because I've got my one desire,
You pick me up when I drop by.

Bridge:
(Oh...woah, woah,)
Flap your wings of my desire,
(Oh...woah, woah,)
Fly with me like there's no other..

Cause I will not see you,
But you know that it's true,
When no one is there,
It's then you truly care.
Look up to the sky,
With my feet on the ground I fly,
Because I've got my one desire,
You pick me up when I drop by.

And now that I see you,
And we know that it's true,
When no one is there,
It's then we truly care.
Look up to the sky,
With my feet off the ground I fly,
Cause you're the angel of my life,
You pick me up when I drop by.
(Oh...woah, woah,)
You're the angel of my life...
(Oh...woah, woah,)
You pick me up when I drop by.

2010-05-14T08:18:00.001-07:00

Anniversary Journey
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

It's time to pick the pieces
On a journey to no man's land,
With the memories as our compass,
My fragile heart that's in your hand.

The shadow of our issues,
A diary of consequences,
With a bunch of tear stained tissues,
Give you more than hugs and kisses,

Though at times,
My heart beats out with insecurities,
You're not just another victory
As long as there's a you and me.
With our lives we'll pen the story,
From start point to finish line
Of our anniversary journey.

The start of a love story
It always begins sweet,
But I'll bring you through the end,
The souls of prince and princess meet

Though at times,
My heart beats out with insecurities,
You're not just another victory
As long as there's a you and me.
With our lives we'll pen the story,
From start point to finish line
Of our anniversary journey.

Bridge
Love lasts longer than a rose
With it's roots in eternity
Unfold our dreams that come to light,
Seal it with a kiss tonight.

And at times,
My heart beats out with insecurities,
You're not just another victory
Because you are my destiny.
With our lives we'll pen the story,
From start point to finish line
Of our anniversary journey.

Because, you're beautiful to me.

2010-05-14T05:53:00.000-07:00

Nine Lives
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

A cat has nine lives,
But sometimes you want eight,
Just to be fine.
But this' your one last try
Can never seem to fight,
With your tears behind.

Pre-chorus
And now I’m standing on the verge of your mind
Cause if this is the last of nine lives,
I want you to be mine

You haven’t got a taste of the feeling that’s sweeter than honey
Those horrid dreams are still etched within your memories,
And I know anything’s possible when you’re with me,
Will you give me one last chance to brighten up one’s life,
With the last of my nine lives?

And hard as we may cry
Cause sometimes we want less,
We’re too afraid to try.
So wipe your tears dry
There’s still a path to light
Even if it’s the last fight

Pre-chorus
And now I’m standing on the verge of your mind
Cause if this is the last of nine lives,
I want you to be mine

You haven’t got a taste of the feeling that’s sweeter than honey
Because those horrid dreams are still etched within your memories,
I know anything’s possible when you’re with me,
Will you give me one last chance to brighten up one’s life,
With the last of my nine lives?

Bridge
When the storm has come to pass
The candle of my life will never last
Before the flames go out,
I want to see your one last smile,
One last smile…

You haven’t got a taste of the feeling that’s sweeter than honey
Because those horrid dreams are still etched within your memories,
I know anything’s possible when you’re with me,
Will you give me one last chance to brighten up one’s life,
With the last of my nine lives?

I’ll give you a taste of the feeling that’s sweeter than honey
Remove those horrid dreams still etched within your memories,
Cause everything is possible when you’re with me,
Just give me one last chance to brighten up your life,
With the last of my nine lives.

Yea… Give me the one last chance to brighten up your life,
With the last of my nine lives.

2010-05-11T06:37:00.000-07:00

Shadow of our lives
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

They said time heals all wounds,
You were told a lie.
The moment the truth sinks in,
Your soul shatters to smithereens

They said love was precious
Doesn't hurt to try.
The moment heartbreak crashes on,
The smile we once shared is now gone

Pre chorus
And they said all fairy tales
Have a happy ending,
But they didn't know the story
Of the poisoned apple without the prince.

Cause I'm waiting for a miracle to happen
Lying in the depths of loneliness, waiting for heaven
Will the prince come by
Will he open our eyes
And remove the shadow of our lives?

They said life was a race,
Omitted the desert between,
The moment heat takes it's toll,
Our melted memories disappear

Pre chorus
And they said all fairy tales
Have a happy ending,
But they didn't know the story
Of the poisoned apple without the prince.

Cause I'm waiting for a miracle to happen
Lying in the depths of loneliness, waiting for heaven
Will the prince come by
Will he open our eyes
And remove the shadow of our lives?

Cause I know that a miracle's about to happen
Rising from the depths of loneliness, embracing heaven
Our prince comes by
He has opened our eyes
And removed the shadow of our lvves?
He removed the shadow of our love.

2010-05-11T04:42:00.000-07:00

The last smile of existence,
Filled with tinges of regret.

2010-05-09T05:28:00.001-07:00

Elementus
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

Escaping from the depths of the sea,
With our souls in harmony
A rise of the musical destiny
Realization of fantasy.

Anchors of our hopes,
Essence of our lives,
Place our trust in the melody,
As instruments pen our story

Conquer the strife of humanity,
Breach the gap of you and me.
With the future on our tapestry,
We stride to victory.

Anchors of our hopes,
Essence of our lives,
Place our trust in the melody,
As instruments pen our story

Anchors hold our hopes,
Elementus over strife,
Meaning of our symphony,
The instruments pen our story.

2010-05-08T06:06:00.000-07:00

It was poison, yet he knew that he was calling it to him. No, it was calling it to him. Emotional poison in a mirage of redemption.

He had been cautioned against these kinds of treachery. In fact, he who had warned others against that poison found himself mesmerized by it's astronomical promise.

Slowly, he took the vial of defiled hope, fondling with it in his palm. With one quick breath, he gulped the hissing mixture down his soul, and for an instant, flowers bloomed within.

2010-05-06T22:44:00.000-07:00

Tears usher the last vestiges of my youth away.
Moments of memories take my light away.
Sundown has left me back there all alone.
How can I face a new dawn?

Smiles resemble the joy flowing within,
Tragedy blankets the place in your heart I'm in.

2010-05-06T21:13:00.000-07:00

Keep coming home,
To the place where I was gone,
Another cold,
Another time just left alone.
You called me back,
The times of glee I wish I never had.
With the realization now that you are gone
Keeps coming home.

2010-05-04T21:42:00.000-07:00

Calm after the song.

2010-05-02T00:00:00.000-07:00

Never Lose Sight
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

It all ends tonight.
That glass of memories shattered on your plight.
And I guess you lost the fight,
But there's one thing you left us with;
Never lose sight.

The frailness of humanity,
Washed upon the shores of reality.
Wake up to the morning sun,
Knowing that you'll still be gone.

Cause it all ends tonight.
That glass of memories shattered on your plight.
And I guess you lost the fight,
But there's one thing you us with;
Never lose sight.

Broken dreams lay upon the sea.
Though there was never a you and me.
In the hearts of your friends,
There'll be a wholesome void to spare.

And it all ends tonight.
That glass of memories shattered upon your plight.
And you guess you lost the fight,
But there's one thing you left us with;
Never lose sight.

Bridge:
Call on me and you'll be there,
Cast a hope, call a prayer,
In the legacy you left behind.
Life itself may not be fair
But broken hearts can be repaired,
And in our souls you will shine...

It may end tonight.
That glass of memories signify your flight.
And I know, you'll be our pride,
Cause there's one thing you behind;
Never lose sight.

2010-04-30T09:33:00.000-07:00

I could soar like the eagles
Through the depths of the sea
But I'm left with one fractured wing.

So I sail round the oceans,
Looking for hope,
Cause there was once just you and me.

2010-04-28T02:21:00.001-07:00

Not The Guy For You
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

Has your pasta lost it's passion,
Like that coolness in your drink.
You seem to look in a new direction,
My heart's on destruction's brink

Has the music stopped it's symphony,
I miss how your eyes were glued on me,
Don't remind me of a wasted harmony,
Just be patient and you will see.

That I am not the soul for you,
My heart may stand true,
But the decision's up to you.
And you know, I've haven't got a clue.
Right now we're feeling kinda blue,
But I know, I'm not the right guy for you.

Stop the time when you're by my side,
Watching the sunset tonight.
Now, in the shadows of the night I hide,
Hoping for our wrongs to become right.

That I am not the soul for you,
My heart may stand true,
But the decision's up to you.
And you know, I've haven't got a clue.
Right now we're feeling kinda blue,
But I know, I'm not the right guy for you.

Bridge:
Tell me when to stop,
Tell me when to run,
Tell me that I'm not the one.
Tell me that I'm not...

That I am not the soul for you,
My heart may stand true,
But the decision's up for you.
And you know, I've haven't got a clue.
Right now we're kinda feeling blue,
But I know, I'm not the right guy for you.

Cause I am not the soul for you,
My heart will stand true,
But the decision's broken by you.
And you know, now that I've got a clue.
Right now I'm kinda feeling blue,
Because I know, I'm not the right guy for you.

2010-04-07T02:05:00.000-07:00

Slark Song
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

I'm thirsting for your passion,
But glories are not what I see,
I don't want your Guardian Angel,
Don't you dare purify me.

You may spin with your Counter Helix,
Or hunger me with your torment,
But I'm a demon of the shadows,
And your culling will be in vain.

You may chill me with your cold feet,
And Ice Vortex with a finishing touch
But just when your Ice blast kicks in,
It's you who will be missed much.

Because I'm a demon of the shadows
And darkness is what I see
You can throw all you have at me,
But I will have the final victory.

Thunder echoes don't scare me
As lightning strikes the streets
But can you fight something you can't see?
You'll only face defeat.

Lock me in your power cog
And battery assault me,
Rocket flare's helpless against me
When I'm cloaked in invisibility.

Because I'm a demon of the shadows
And darkness is what I see
You can throw all you have at me,
But I will have the final victory.

2010-04-07T02:00:00.000-07:00

Slark.

2010-03-12T10:11:00.000-08:00

The sun burns its passion out,
And starlights die within.
If you could see the future,
Where the path of love goes dim.

Would you still say yes to my request,
Or a burden you should bear?
And when the moon comes between us
Will you be there to care?

Cause I will be waiting,
For a belonging,
You were the one that I loved.
But the starlight's fading,
Your sun is dimming,
And it's failing,
The astronomical promise.

2010-03-08T06:32:00.000-08:00

for once, I didnt want a birthday cake.

For once, this whole thing seems like a joke to me.

For once, I felt like dying on my birthday.

Happy silent nineteenth.

I was lying.

Happy has lost its meaning.

It was hate, then confusion, then aggression; plain emotion.

Fuck you, world. I'm sick and tired of you. Now as the blade sinks, may my last words be silent.

A silent defiance. I am not a conformist.

2010-02-23T02:52:00.000-08:00

Firefly
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

The meaning is lost in purpose,
The moment is lost in the magic of circumstance
The marvel of fireflies become mundane,
And you find yourself sinking again

The tracks of time have lost their grip
And life is as blatant as it seems
The light beaming passion slowly fades
And you find yourself blacked out again.

Wake up from the bug you’ve caged yourself in,
Unleash your light source from within,
As your foes come blindly from the dark,
You must live my friend
Find your spark.

Now life ain’t simple as it seem,
When you’re moments away from your big dream
A step to a corner, another dead end,
Essence of a victor, you must stand

Wake up from the bug you’ve caged yourself in,
Unleash your light source from within,
As your foes come blindly from the dark,
You must live my friend,
Find your spark.

2010-02-16T09:52:00.000-08:00

It's nearly two in the morning,
I lie awake, my heart's weeping,
Of the memories of those who are sleeping

Tears are flowing,
Though my eyes are opening,
To a new world, to a new awakening

Chorus
I may lie silent as you speak
Into the darkness that's so deep,
It may look that I am gone forever,
But I'm there when you're asleep.
Picturing you in silent smile,
Watching you with dreams gone wild.
You stride upon the oceans of life,
But I'm there when you're asleep.

And now you have moved on,
Oblivious to the man you left in the pit.
But know that for sure, there's none against you,
Even while you're asleep.

Your thoughts penetrate the future,
Locking me in my hearts grave.
For I am trapped in the past and present,
Just for me, do not weep.

Chorus:
I may lie silent as you speak
Into the darkness that's so deep,
It may look that I am gone forever,
But I'm there when you're asleep.
Picturing you in silent smile,
Watching you with dreams gone wild.
You stride upon the oceans of life,
But I'm there when you're asleep.

Cause I'm there when you're asleep.

This song is written in the memory of one who was once special to me.
Rest in peace.

2010-02-08T01:29:00.001-08:00

Dont go away
by Fabian Ng

Cause that is where I belong.
The smiles of the past
Form the lyrics of our song.

Back then we were naive
The conquest of the past
Our futures to achieve

And will you go,
If I didnt stay away?
And will you run,
If I had called your name?
And will you throw this soul right in the sand
With the trials of life engulfing to his end?
Will you stay?
Dont go away.

2010-02-03T04:12:00.000-08:00

Valentine
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

Cause now's the time to say goodbye
To the memories left behind
You, my valentine.

And so I waited for the sun to rise
With dreams of meeting you just one last time.
But now the sunset blankets the beach
And you tell me that
You were never mine
My valentine.

The lights go off tonight
I hide my valentine inside,
Walk the streets of smiling races,
With smiles plastered on shining faces.
Look to the sky, with the fireworks screaming at my life
I lost you, you my valentine.

Cause what you did was throw away
The last smile that lit up my day
You, my valentine.

And so I waited for the sun to rise
With dreams of meeting you just one last time.
But now the sunset blankets the beach
And you tell me that
You were never mine
My valentine.

The lights go off tonight
I hide my valentine inside,
Walk the streets of smiling races,
With smiles plastered on shining faces.
Look to the sky, with the fireworks screaming at my life
I lost you, you my valentine.

Bridge:
(MY valentine)
With that hope to remember,
(My valentine)
With that heart that you shattered
(you were never mine)
With that step I faltered
(And so you ceased to shine)
With that smile to remember...

The lights go off tonight
I hide my valentine inside,
Walk the streets of smiling races,
With smiles plastered on shining faces.
Look to the sky, with the fireworks screaming at my life
I lost you, you my valentine.

2010-01-27T06:09:00.000-08:00

Cause there's the rain
It's pouring down on our hearts today,
And it would be a nice time
To just share out all our dreams

But you're probably busy with the mundane things of life.
And I know that you're not interested in mine.

I can't help but stop to think,
Not about you, but about the weather.
Wouldn't it be nice if I be there another day?

But again we're probably busy living our lives.
And thought of love that implodes from within.

But you can find me at the fountain where the wealth flows away,
Screaming reminiscences as the night envelops day.
I'm just a call away.

Just A Call Away
chorus/lyrics by Fabian Ng

Find me at the fountain
Where the wealth flows away,
Screaming reminiscences
As the night envelops day.
With the memories to dance and play
Would it be okay, that you would stay?
I'm just a call away.

I rarely speak in first person on this blog, but it's just that I kinda miss the moments where I'd wish I had someone to accompany me at the Fountain of Wealth.

Probably not, perhaps.
I'm just a call away.

2010-01-27T00:07:00.001-08:00

Love me to life
by Fabian Ng

Another troubled day
Passes my way,
The tiredness from making
The same mistake,
With that smile so fake.
Forced to the reins of my broken…

Soul, I’m clutching it on,
Don’t you let it go away
It’s here to stay,
But should I lose it one day…

Will you come and grab my hand upon the shore,
Between the land and the darkness of the sea
Will you love me to life like you did before?
Will you set me free?
Clasping my hands through the strife,
Till you love me to life.

And I know that it
Won’t be the same,
The agony to put
That smile to shame.
With a twinge of hate,
Sneaking to consume my shattered…

Soul, I’m clutching it on,
Don’t you let it go away
It’s here to stay,
But should I lose it one day…

Will you come and grab my hand upon the shore,
Between the land and the darkness of the sea
Will you love me to life like you did before?
Will you set me free?
Clasping my hands through the strife,
Till you love me to life.

2010-01-24T09:24:00.000-08:00

He Will Carry You On
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

You're crying,
You left the door open
And I peeked into your heart
Something's dying,
It seems you're lost in the moment,
You're falling apart.

Pre-chorus:
And your plastered smiles
Tell me the opposite,
Of that tear stained story
You're hiding in a veil
Of the unsaid sorry,
But I want you to know..

That you're fine,
And God is kind,
He will let you live on,
If the burden becomes too hard to bear,
Then maybe it is time to share;
The heavy load,
Your broken soul,
He will carry you on
When the burden becomes too hard to bear
He will carry you on.

You're trying,
You give your best,
I know you wanna achieve,
Yet you're failing,
It seems you're lost in the moment,
Friend, you've gotta believe.

And your plastered smiles
Tell me the opposite,
Of that tear stained story
You're hiding in a veil
Of the unsaid sorry,
But I want you to know..

That you're fine,
And God is kind,
He will let you live on,
If the burden becomes too hard to bear,
Then maybe it is time to share;
The heavy load,
Your broken soul,
He will carry you on
When the burden becomes too hard to bear
He will carry you on.

Bridge:
And when the moments come
And you're torn apart,
Know that there'll be rose
At the grave of your heart...

But you'll be fine,
And God is kind,
He will let you live on,
When the burden becomes too hard to bear,
Then maybe it is time to share;
The heavy load,
Your broken soul,
He will carry you on
When the burden becomes too hard to bear
He will carry you on.

He will carry you on.
(Song inspired by beginning posts from a friend's blog. For that friend. To that friend.)

2010-01-24T05:02:00.000-08:00

If there's trials around
They're for you to grow
Now's not the time
To end this ordeal, my child

There's much still time
To live this stale life of hope
Even if you're rotting away
There's still flesh on your soul.
There's still much time
With the joy in sorrow's lake
I know that'll make your day
There's still flesh on your soul.

Even if you feel like giving up.

2010-01-19T01:19:00.000-08:00

Dirt On My Hands
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

A pearl for the price,
Staring right from the eyes
Into the soul,
Losing control.
The moments so fake,
But I know its too late,
The price has been paid
For the greatest mistake.

Dirt on your hands,
That's what you've got now,
The passion is over,
Now comes the hangover.
The electric touch is gone,
And now you're alone,
Lost the courage to stand,
With that dirt on your hands.

With you last will you try
Yet you break down and cry,
Tears mixed with shame,
Anguish with pain.
The moments so fake,
But I know its too late,
The price has been paid
For the greatest mistake.

Dirt on your hands,
That's what you've got now,
The passion is over,
Now comes the hangover.
The electric touch is gone,
And now you're alone,
Lost the courage to stand,
With that dirt on your hands.

Bridge:
Wash it away,
Scars left behind,
A troubled circumstance
Wish you never had...

Dirt on your hands,
That's what you've got now,
The passion is over,
Now comes the hangover.
The electric touch is gone,
And now you're alone,
Lost the courage to stand,
With that dirt on your hands.

Dirt on my hands,
That's what I've got now,
The passion was over,
Now comes the hangover.
The electric touch was gone,
But now I'm alone,
With the courage to stand,
Wash that dirt from my hands.

Cause the future's in my hand...

2010-01-14T23:09:00.001-08:00

The Lost Flame
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

It’s still the same,
That once forgotten smile on your face,
And truth begins,
I’m falling for you over again,
So innocent,
With wounds that words used to scar the pain
Time to snuff out that lost flame.

The lost flame,
I’ve buried it under that pile of shame,
It ain’t the same,
Now that we went our separate ways
The day you said
That we won’t be together again,
It was the day
I buried that lost flame.

A heart of gold,
I gave it all when you cried again.
A heart of stone,
Was what you used to put me to shame?
So innocent,
With wounds that words used to scar the pain
Time to snuff out that lost flame.

The lost flame,
I’ve buried it under that pile of shame,
It ain’t the same,
Now that we went our separate ways
The day you said
That we won’t be together again,
It was the day
I buried that lost flame

Bridge:
Cause when we die
Our spirits will wander
Far away forever
And I know,
Those things won’t be the same,
But I won’t change,
Because I snuffed out...

The lost flame,
I’ve buried it under that pile of shame,
It ain’t the same,
Now that we went our separate ways
The day you said
That we won’t be together again,
It was the day
I buried that lost flame.

2010-01-09T08:49:00.000-08:00

Masked-up Valentine
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

Thoughts of times, swirling deeply in my mind,
The chess of pawns, the beginning sacrifice,
And I'll go home, staring defeat in the eye
Because I know, there will never be a you and I.

Because this feeling's so unreal,
A passion so surreal,
(Oh yeah)
I can look and I can try,
But I know you won't be mine,
Cause you're a masked up valentine.

Troubled thoughts, splurging deeply to the sky,
The chess of love, the daggers of your mind,
And I'll go home, thoughts filled with hopes I cannot find,
Because I know a shattered portrait of you and I

Because this feeling's so unreal,
A passion so surreal,
(Oh yeah)
I can look and I can try,
But I know you won't be mine,
Cause you're a masked up valentine.

Bridge:
Regrets.
Of the time where we first met.
Regrets.
Of something I should have never said..

Because this feeling's so unreal,
A passion so surreal,
(Oh yeah)
I can look and I can try,
But I know you won't be mine,
Cause you're a masked up valentine.

2010-01-05T21:03:00.001-08:00

You keep your traditions,
Curb your inhibitions,
Live your life devoid of passion
Like a molehill mouse underground.

But this life is not the kind of life I want.
Your ignorance stabs me on every front.
If I could kill your deity you worship,
Bring you back and restore your soul.

Because I know, that I used to love a thing called trust,
But I learnt how it grinds you to fragile dust.
Because mercy was a virtue that spares the victim's soul
And I know, that I'll die with a reputation of a fool.

Now I live life devoid of meaning,
Parables or so to speak,
With the wisdom of the truth long forgotten,
But again, what is the truth?

They said the truth was a lie in itself. fragran
For the truth did not come to save.
What good can truth bring?
Can it bring back the soul of the murdered?
Or can it spare the head of the repentant murderer?

I've lost my trust in the truth itself.
In my mind, truth is ground to fragile dust,
To be cast to the winds,
With it's vicious fragrance spreading to the four corners of humankind.

Because trust grinds you to fragile dust.

2009-12-29T07:04:00.000-08:00

Give me the courage to pull the trigger.
At the last moment of death,
I will be a hero,
Remembered as a coward.

Silenced is the courage within,
That summons him to pull the plug.

His death was ordinary,
After all, he died for sin.

My inspiration ends here.

2009-12-29T02:47:00.000-08:00

Coke Drunk

I used to be coke drunk, but now I've a fever,
I'd drink it forever, but my life is over,
I won't miss it one night, but now the time is right
Don't blame me for trying, but this is a good fight

There's just one thing, would make me stay
I used to be coke drunk, but now I've a fever,
I'd drink it forever, but my life is over.

2009-12-17T18:38:00.000-08:00

City mouse, country mouse.

He proclaims that he is a city mouse. Even his friends know it.

Yet deep in his heart, he knows that there's still a little country mouse left in him...
No, he IS a country mouse.

He could never, not matter how enjoyable, spend his full day in the city; for the city lights sparkle alleys of darkness - the city is full of sin.

But he, afterall, is still a city mouse, country mouse.

2009-12-14T04:03:00.000-08:00

A Fucking Racist Thing
poem by Fabian Ng

There was a boy called joshie,

He was kinda mushy

He liked a girl who's pale and so white,

If you stared at her, you'd die from fright.

Still he remained illogical,

Bullshiting that the affair was spiritual,

In the end they ended up having sex,

And Joshie died from Government service Tax.

So here lies the grave of the josh who died,

Seriously, it would be better if he made shepherd's pie.

At least he would have flesh and meat,

And his good friend Fab would have something to eat.

This is why you should support racists,

Even if they are fucking Fascists,

It's better to join the Kool Klux Klan,

Than to die a burnt out man

I hate albinos and it's them I abuse,

So that we brownskins can be amused,

So next time you see a f**king albino, you can spit

At their faces, and make them eat dog shit.

*I hate black people too.

Save Me

2009-12-14T02:59:00.000-08:00

Save Me
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

If there one way to know,'
The best way for us to go,
I would surely hold you tight,
In the darkness, I'll be your light

The joy and the pain we rode,
Left for us the memories to show
But now our hearts are broken inside
Left out from each other
We're gonna die,

Dear baby you're the one
You thought I would be enjoying the fun,
But this heart is bleeding without you,
Cause you're the one that my heart held true

So dear baby won't you come back to me
This heart's missing out on the life to be
Please don't leave me ever, if I change
Will you still hold out your hand the same?

I'm sorry for the things I've done,
Even though it's hard to run
From the mistakes that turned to crime
Please forgive me, one last time

I turn back time,
(To) the place where you'd save me
I'm prayin' now,
Miracle won't you save me?

If there one way to know,'
The best place for us to go,
I would say it's the shore,
The place we had never met before

Let the waves come crashing by,
As you and I stare in the sky
With that hand of yours in mine
Where we've haven't crossed that line

But baby please don't let it be too late,
I didn't know things would turn this way,
Its hard to give me one last chance
But now you're my only one.

I'm sorry for the things I've done,
Even though it's hard to run
From the mistakes that turned to crime
Please forgive me, one last time

I turn back time,
(To) the place where you'd save me
I'm prayin' now,
Miracle won't you save me?

2009-12-14T02:58:00.000-08:00

It seems the world has gone back to it's square face,
Where the sunlight doesn't seem to come shining down.

2009-12-06T00:05:00.000-08:00

Today, something happened.
God told me to count my friends, and I told him I've got none.
I asked God, why do you take away all my friends?
God replied something, but I didn't quite get it.
In conclusion, I thought God was a sadist who takes pride in hypocrites.
But after all, ain't I a hypocrite?
Isn't everyone a hypocrite?
Especially when I look upon with hatred to that christ goer who preached about the truth of christ but not the love of christ.
To the people who attempted to care with their hypocritical stares.
But after all, I'm a hypocrite.
I can't expect much.

And so I turned to the sky and questioned the stars,
Beseeching them to steer me away from my plight.
The answer to that was that the journeys of stars were chartered beforehand;
Something I did not quite understand.

Thus I turned to the moonlight shining ever so pale.
And questioned her about the meaning of life.
It said wisdom is like the curves of her thighs.
I could not understand; I answered with sighs.

Then I turned to the mirage of my significant other,
Looking for a solution to the current state of hypocrisy.
It told me to forget everything, before it vanished to dust.
It was still a mirage.

And now I hate religion as I wander alone,
I wonder why Christ died for these bastards on earth.
So now I turned to the shadow of Christ,
Questioning him about the meaning of his sacrifice.
He plucked the nails from his wooden cross
And handed them to me.
He told me to exact vengeance upon whom I hated;
And thus I plunged it into thee.

Yet just as the hypocrites started to scream,
And terror filled their eyes;
The devil appeared in the silence of the night,
And I realised vengeance was not the solution to my plight.

But helpless as I was, I could not defend myself,
As the nails were embedded in the hearts of my perceived foes.
Quietly, Christ signaled to me,
And he told me to do what was necessary.

Yes, I still hated that man,
But I knew his love for me.
He told me once more that He was to blame,
For the hypocrisy that put these men of his to shame.

The demons within me were invoking hatred,
As they screamed obscenities in His Name.
My mind fell in a daze, as I tore open the bodies of my victims,
Retrieved the nails, and plunged it once again into His bleeding hands.

The stars came once again, and now I realised,
Just as journeys of stars were chartered beforehand,
This Saviour was born to die,
As a helpless sacrifice.

The moon's words reappeared to me,
Initially, I thought they meant lust.
But now the crown of thorns on the Saviour's head,
Unmatched wisdom taking a curve's shape.

And yes, a mirage was all it seemed
When man's inequities appeared before him.
Because the power of love overcomes all hatred
And one with that power forgets everything.

And so I look upon the broken body
Of the man I've pierced.
Once again, I forgot the hypocrisy
I could not help myself; I was on the ground in tears.

People still proclaim today, amazing grace, how sweet the sound.
But I say it was this amazing love,
That I was alive and found.

2009-12-03T02:47:00.001-08:00

Now is the time where I must abstain from Ecstasy.
You cannot have it as a drug anymore. It ruins your life.

2009-12-02T22:33:00.000-08:00

Love the Hypocrite
Lyrics by Fabian Ng

There's a change in the summer of today,
As the clouds cover the light of day
In the darkness, there is nothing one can say
Let him rot, let him die away.

I hear the murmurs for the blade to come again,
I see the vile figure, thoughts dancing in the rain.
The people wonder how can one have no shame,
They scorn, they do not see his pain.

Under the hood of deception
Lies a heart for redemption
That none could see,
But the cry for prejudice,
Overlooking the tears of injustice,
Who could love him, the hypocrite?

There's a stillness, lying all the same,
They say he's a liar, tricks are just his game.
Plastered was a smile upon his dying frame.
None saw the moments when he was overcame.

Under the hood of deception
Lies a heart for redemption
That none could see,
But the cry for prejudice,
Overlooking the tears of injustice,
Who could love him, the hypocrite?

If I told you he could change,
Would you believe me?
Or would you scorn him the same?
If I told you there is hope,
Would you believe me?
Would you release me?

Under the hood of deception
Lies a heart for redemption
That none could see,
But the cry for prejudice,
Overlooking the tears of injustice,
Who could love him, the hypocrite?

2009-11-30T04:48:00.001-08:00

I was supposed to remain emotionless. Supposed to.

The darkness tells me never to unveil myself to humane emotions.

Now there is a void within. I know I cannot go back because not everyone will accept this prodigal son. And even so, there is still some rage within me.

And uncertainty. That I'll crack again. And each time I crack, the wound get's worse and the fall gets harder. And with every scar comes a deeper retreat.

No undercat. You must hide your feelings. Never let that sister like feeling bring you back to the bright side. For the brighter the light is, the darker the shadow will be.

Now in you hunger, you feel a void. Go Cleanse that hunger.

Go.

2009-11-29T22:34:00.000-08:00

Biostatistics
Crapped by Fabian Ng

Life follows a normal distribution.
The center of it lies it's peak.
Yes I guess that there's not enough for me.
Yes it's something I look forward to see.

And i know that I'll never use this data,
Because my life's chart doesn't include a space for it
I can't imagine myself drowning in this agony
The silence masks the cries of enduring statistics.

But what of men whose lives
Have reached the center fo their peak?
Will they find it thus meaningless to live?
If there's a chance; an opportunity to bring down this peak.
I would live to do so at a cost of sanity.

And somehow I'm writing this piece of crap,
In the midst of deadlines I stopped caring on.
Yet it's somehow pleasurable to live carefree.
Without the constraints of the status quo upon me
With the love and passion of just me and me.

2009-11-25T02:13:00.001-08:00

Mirage
lyrics by Fabian Ng

It was another day,
Aren't all days still the same?
But that chance, that smile,
Mirages are all I could tell.

You spoke, I smiled.
Excitement within bursting out
But that chance, that smile,
Mirage is all I could tell.

And I wonder to myself...

It's another big smile,
With another deep glance
Life's full of surprises,
Could this be another chance?
It's another big smile,
With all those deep glances,
Could this be a mirage?
I'm not taking any chances.

You' re still the same face,
As my life here is rotting to waste,
But that chance, that smile,
Another mirage, I cannot tell.

And I wonder to myself...

It's another big smile,
With another deep glance
Life's full of surprises,
Could this be another chance?
It's another big smile,
With all those deep glances,
Could this be a mirage?
I'm not taking any chances.

2009-11-22T22:35:00.000-08:00

Beautiful
by Fabian Ng

Tears are squeezed out of your eyes,
I want to picture the shattered fragments
Piercing the remnants of your heart
And I want to see the revenge
When you're presented without a choice
Only to walk the road where death awaits at the end.

No one shall know about the plight you're in
I want to picture the utter desperation
As you choke upon the final moments of life
And I want to see your helplessness
When you tread upon the dark waters
Of a sea bleeding the victims it consumed.

Tears,
When your heart cries,
Flowing,
When your will tries,
Shattered,
When your time's up and you can't continue on,
I'll rescue you.

Because I never meant to bring you through the dark waters of your plight.
Because I never meant to hurt that heart of yours in the first place,
Because I cannot control the transformation within myself,
Because you're beautiful, but crying,
Beacuse you're still beautiful to me.

2009-11-21T07:47:00.000-08:00

I need a shoulder to cry on; I desperately need one.

In the laws of science, organisms either adjust, adapt or die off.

I choose the third, for I am not a human. I way too weak for one.

Farewell my world,

And the gore spurted out from his brain and his memories were shattered no more.

2009-11-20T01:04:00.000-08:00

"I've ran out of emotions; I feel no more pain." - the undercat at 3.15pm, 20th November; 2009.

2009-11-17T21:15:00.001-08:00

What are words concealed behind real happy smiles?

Anticipation awaits as I look upon that array of hope.

Maybe the Undercat will now go down in hope forlorn.

2009-11-12T21:28:00.000-08:00

Brand Design. These two words give me extreme highs and monotonous lows.

But for now, it kinda sucks. If only some videos could be more exciting.... *Wonders.*

Lol, someone got shot down again =.=